Miss You Dad

I wouldn’t be lying if I said I was staring at the screen for the longest time while mustering up the courage to write this post. It’s been two weeks since the worst day of my life (mentally scratching off the many other times my raging emotions thought it was the worst day). I lost my hero, my pillar, and biggest role model and the person who loved me the most — my dear father (very very unexpectedly). They say adulting is hard, but being forced to grow up this way was not something I prepared myself to learn.

I always called myself lucky to be my father’s daughter, constantly trying to be as amazing as he was. From building an empire from very little, to sending us to the US at a very young age — my father never failed to provide, or lost his drive to learn and do something new every single day!

But there I was — bitter, frustrated, jealous and hopeful all at the same time. I talked about hitting rock bottom, but this felt worse. I briefly shunned myself from social media to declutter my mind, and pray more to find peace. And I kept asking. What happened to all the plans we made? Who else am I going to speak in sarcasm with? And all the future moments I made up in my head, where my father was present?

They say the best thing we can do is look forward, or in the words of my father “big girls don’t run away.” My father’s death, as unexpected and shocking as it was, gave me a completely new perspective in life. The most important lesson is – to be a kind person. Our hearts were full as we saw countless people showing up and talking about how much impact he had in their lives. A handful of people showed up claiming he helped pay for their educations, building houses or just to get by (and did so very discreetly). Rest assured, I will keep calling myself lucky to be his daughter. Life isn’t about how much money we make and how popular we come off as; life really is about how great we are as humans and how many lives we (genuinely) impact.

To all those who’ve lost a parent, my heart goes out to you. And to those who haven’t — love them unconditionally, every minute you get. Because life is beautiful and uncertain all at the same time.

Love,

Tasfia