Being Lonely During The Holidays

I’m writing this as I’m looking up to observe the chatty lady behind me at Starbucks. I honestly love people watching — the simple art of knowing about knowing about those we come across. We encounter so many people daily. And unknowingly, we encounter their struggles and unwritten emotions. The chatty lady can turn back and see a tiny woman with an interesting coat and twinkle in her eyes. What she doesn’t see is the girl who struggled for so long to be proud of herself, has issues feeling love and just suffered the loss of the person closest to her.

Truth be told, I was personally driven to write this post. Thanksgiving 2019 will be known to me as the day I put my phone away just to tell myself that spending holidays away from family (because your family dynamic changed drastically within less than a year) is normal. I had someone tell me the other day she ‘looks up to me’ for always being so social, loved and busy. I smiled and thought to myself how much her perspective of me is very different from the reality”.

Loneliness is a relative term, and hits everyone differently and in different degrees. Some of us are quick to acknowledge it while others let it creep up and get stronger. While holidays are dubbed as ‘happiness in the air’ , people tend to get the loneliest around this time. There’s several reasons behind this, but the most crucial one is the simple idea of not having meaningful company. 

While I’m not an expert , here’s a list of some things that work for me/most people:

1. Keep in mind: You’re not the victim/unlucky. Like I mentioned, loneliness hits people differently and at different times.
2. Find something you love. For me, going back to Yoga kept my mind very happy and occupied. Immerse yourself in something you absolutely love doing. Also very helpful – volunteering your time to the weaker ones in the society. 
3. There’s people out there who care, include them. Call them, message them. If they ask to include you in anything they’re doing, say yes. We make good (new) relationships only if we put in the initial efforts. 
4. Travel somewhere you’ve never been before, or at least step outside the city you live in. Taking yourself off your natural environment lets your mind seek a different perspective. Remember: the world is too big and beautiful for you to feel alone in it. AND solo trips will change your life, trust me!
5. Minimize social media. Ahh! Social media — where everyone has a perfect life (well maybe except you) and sharing how much they’re enjoying the holidays with family. So yes, don’t ruin and waste your time doing that. 
6. Go to a coffee shop. People watching is fun! If you’re like me, you’ll get your creative juices flowing and will enjoy being surrounded by like minded people or just people in general.
7. Keep your house clean. This is an odd one, but it works! Declutter your mind so anxiety doesn’t mix in with the loneliness.